Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You ate ashes out of my bong
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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