Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
