Im at strip club and am horny
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
