so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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