There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
