Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
