i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
