why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
