She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Of course I have a pirate flag
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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