The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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