Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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