1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
