oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
