Porn is love you can see.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
