Umm I'm too high to move.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Rumble strips road head = magical
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
