He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
