3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize