dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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