you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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