found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
