It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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