Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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