Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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