i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
