Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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