I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
