and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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