hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
