Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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