Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
