i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
