So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
