It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
