just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize