he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
...so i touched it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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