maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize