I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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