So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
