Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
