Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
