What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
