Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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