New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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