This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
