Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
