Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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