my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize