On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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