i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
