I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
