This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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