I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
