Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
