Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
