i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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