i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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