So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
