Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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