We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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