I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
