dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I cut my penus on the lid.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize