Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
