a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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