just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
