im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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