Having a random hookup so left but love u
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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