Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
