I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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