Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
