this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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