Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize