Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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