i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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